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The Time Has Come [27 Nov 2006|08:41pm]
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{4 just like a shooting star}fall from the sky

i have to [27 Nov 2006|08:17pm]
i was about to post a letter i wrote to someone, but then i realized that my LJ is no longer as private as it once was. contridictory as it is, because its not private but i mean...people read it now that i never would have had read it. i'm feeling frustrated by this because i want certain people to read it and others to not. which is why i'm going to have to make this friends only.
fall from the sky

falling [26 Nov 2006|11:59am]
im pretty damn sure i have vertigo or menaries or whatever the fuck it is, but my parents refuse to believe me or give me any medicine for it and take me to the doctor.

i had a dream my grandpa died.

and now this morning he can't even get out of bed.

i have to be at work in an hour and i'm trying so hard to hold myself together.
fall from the sky

black friday [25 Nov 2006|12:05am]
so i thought i'd have it made working 3-11pm.
everyone would be shopping this morning, because thats when they'd be out doorbusting sale shopping right?


everyone decides to show up at 3pm right when i clock in.

and theres not enough people at the register. so drop your bargin stuff and go to the register bre.
and the cafe people can't keep up. so drop your bargin stuff and go clean up the cafe bre.

and then wait until 30 minutes before close, and say, "by the way, the district manager is coming tomorrow, and your bargin section looks like shit."

thanks a fucking lot guys.

i busted my ass to get everyone elses shit done. then to criticise me for your lack of ability to manage a store by scheduling enough people? come on.

the only good part of my evening was the cool ranch doritos i had with my turkey sandwhich, and playing mario on scott's DS during my break. various guys i work with walked into the break room and saw me laying on the couch playing a video game and were like, "dude...you play video games?" um...yes. i have boobs, but i play video games. why is that such a hard concept to grasp?

i really need to start working out. im not happy with me. i hate looking in the mirror and getting dressed in the morning. its depressing.

on another note completely...

optimism is a strange condition. (pete yorn nod)
whenever im optimistic about anything, it doesnt change the sitatuion, therefore, im rarely optimistic.

ok so i have no clue where i was going with that. i think my brain is just fried. im starting to write things and not know why i'm writing them.
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Who? what? me? overreact? nahh.... [23 Nov 2006|12:39pm]
yea so he wasn't feeling well and was sleeping and had the phone on vibrate.


my mom woke me up at friggen 9am. i am so tired. cleaned the guest bathroom...more fun with bleach in the cuts on my hands. ugh. that, and my house smells like turkey day stuff...and the mixture of the smells of bleach and thanksgiving is so unpleasant i nearly puked.

cleaned my room.

scott is coming over for thanksgiving. so are my grandparents. this makes me happy. people that make me happy, spending thanksgiving with me.

pie and cake also make me happy.

so does third eye blind. especially getting to listen to live concerts that ive been to. thank-you aaron dear.
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i can't help it [23 Nov 2006|01:20am]
i can't help it but my past is getting to me tonight.

"And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.
This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?"

its 1:17am...where are you?

this is killing me. i know it shouldn't. its nothing right? please tell me its nothing. please let it be miscommunication and me being worried about nothing. please, even let it end in a fight because i'm too clingy or whatever. i don't care. just please be ok. its just because i care. i just want you to be ok.

and i can't even leave a voicemail. i hate that. not like a voicemail is going to answer me back or really make me feel better. but ugh.

unintentional pain hurts the most i think.

i hope its unintentional.
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damn baby [22 Nov 2006|11:20pm]
[ mood | blah ]

you frusterate me...

thats how he sings it.

john mayer.

I'm exhausted. But I don't feel like sleeping.

Biggest bar night of the year. I'm too young to drink, but I still feel like I should be out having fun or at least seeing friends/doing something other than sitting here watching J.Mayer videos on YouTube.

Haven't talked to Scott since this afternoon and his away message hasn't changed and he's not answering his phone. I hate this. Its like...11:15pm. If he's sleeping, he's been sleeping since like 5pm. But I don't want to be the annoying nagging girlfriend and call again.

But I'm lonely.

And of course I have so few friends.

My other Scott is out at a party. Aaron is at work.

I really should clean my room because its messy as fuck and it needs to be done, whether Scott comes over tomorrow or not. But I'm too sleepy/sad/frustrated right now. I'm really upset I did so bad on that test and that I'm doing so bad in that class. I mean, I knew I wasn't getting an A, but I at least thought I had like a C+.

So I could copy my poems into the journal i found that I've been meaning to do. But I don't quite feel like it. Or I could fight with my TV and try to make my DVD player work, but that doesn't sound like fun either. I really don't want to do much of anything right now. I kinda just want to sit and talk and cuddle.

But alas I'm alone.

And my back hurts from cleaning the shower today.

What a blah night.

fall from the sky

there goes my good mood [22 Nov 2006|10:02pm]
finally saw all my test grades for my africa class tonight.

test one-75
test two (the one i took today)-65.


I swear I did better. I don't know how I managed to fuck up that test that bad. It was short answer/fill in the blank and I only left like 3 empty and was nearly positive on all the others.
So now, to get a 71% in the class, I have to get a 100% on the third and final test. If I get a 100% and get the 10 extra credit questions, I can get a 73% in the class.

Doesn't the fact that I've only missed one class stand for something? Theres like 60 people in that class and only 13 of us actually show up. And he passes around an attendance sheet. Shouldn't we get some credit for that?

fall from the sky

cuteness [22 Nov 2006|09:16pm]
doesn't it just make you want to gag?
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

he's such a hottie. i'm so lucky.
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Wishing [22 Nov 2006|07:46pm]
Just because I like making lists.

My Christmas Wish List
Read more...Collapse )
fall from the sky

Trying to be creative here. For your amusement of course. =) [22 Nov 2006|12:28am]
[ mood | content ]

"Once tagged by this entry, the assignment is to write an journal entry with ten random facts about yourself. Then, pick six of your friends and tag them; no tag backs. This explanation should be included."

I was tagged by Duane.

1-My favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is Michaelangelo.
2-I met Katherine Heigel (Izzy on Grey's Anatomy) before she was famous...back when she was just Josh Kelley's girlfriend. And I thought she was a total babe then. No wonder she's famous now.
3-After every concert I attend with Aaron, we MUST go to Steak-N-Shake.
4-I walk on my tip toes, have since I was a little kid. Especially when barefoot. I don't even realize it. For this, I have a small charm of 2 feet on my charm bracelet.
5-I was given my first "of drinking age" bracelet at a concert when I was 14 at the state theatre when I went to see Third Eye Blind. The guy didn't even ask for my ID. He said I looked like I was 22.
6-I only get gas from Mobile gas stations. My gas card is for there only, so thats the reasoning. But some people think I'm weird if I call and ask..."hey, where's the nearest mobile station...I need gas....yes,....it HAS to be a mobile!"
7-My mom sometimes calls me Grace. As in...not so graceful. I'm quite the klutz.
8-I secretly have a new appreciation for Justin Timberlake. Skot burned me the "Future/Sex/Love/Sounds" CD and its sooooo catchy.
9-I have a fondness for black cherry italian sodas.
10-One of my first AOL/AIM screennames was PurplePrincess25.

I tag:

{2 just like a shooting star}fall from the sky

grrr [21 Nov 2006|02:45pm]
my sister is going to the panic at the disco/bloc party/jack's mannequin concert tonight.

she'd better buy me a jack's mannequin CD/t-shirt.

grrr im jealous.
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understaffed woes [21 Nov 2006|01:03am]
oh gosh. work was terribly busy.

but a text message made my night.

you hate him, you degrade him...yet you use his words to woo me. i love it.

michael richards-aka kramer is a racist...huge scandal there.

OJ book/tv special cancelled...good cuz I wasn't about to sell any copies of that piece of shit.

Going to see Lisa tomorrow to get my medications switched. Woo.

And then time with my boyfriend who I haven't seen in over a week. Miss him.

I really want a teddy bear to cuddle with. A really really soft plushy cute one. The ones at work are cute and make me think..."awww...I wanna go home and snuggle." hehe.

I think I'm gonna post my christmas wishlist soon.
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Frail [20 Nov 2006|09:59am]
I feel frail.
Less than 10 hours of sleep for the past week.
I'm paler than usual. The makeup isn't hiding it well anymore.
My head is buzzing.
My fucking Africa professor just called my house phone to confirm my makeup test on Wednesday, and my dad answered and about had a goddamn heart attack and when I was done talking to the professor, demandded to know "what the FUCK was going on," and I had to lie and say that I said I would come in on Wednesday and take a survey on the new edition of his text book for him.


Ever get so cold you just don't warm up? Yea, about 9:30pm or so last night my nose and feet got so cold. And they still haven't warmed. I'm about to go take a shower. Hope it helps.

I'm so fucking scared right now.

I cannot fail this class.

If she fails me...what am I going to do? Seriously?


"Come pick me up...."
fall from the sky

I'm Wiik [20 Nov 2006|08:59am]
[ mood | stressed ]

I stay out late and don't sleep.

Told the 'rents I'd be home by midnight. 4:30am...ooops.

Hadn't seen my best friend since before Halloween. There was much catching up to be done. And Wii to be played. I must admit, the system impressed me quite a bit. Twas fun, although the controls for RAMPAGE pissed me off. But good times. And I missed being a dork with Scott. And sitting and talking about everything and nothing for hours on end.

Came home and couldn't sleep. Perhaps its best I don't. I've often found that a few hours of sleep makes you more tired once you have to be up and awake, rather than just going without. So we'll see how I do.

If my professor fails me in my COM class today, I will cry. Because its not fair. I did 95% of the work for the first two projects by myself. The third project is when I got sick and my group kicked me out. That project, was done by everyone else in groups of 5 people or more, in 2 weeks. I did it alone in 2 days. And then I got sick again and missed this project. But seriously...if I fail, my parents will kill me, they won't help me move out, and they will make my life a living hell. They will take away my car, and I'll never see my friends or my boyfriend ever. So cross your fingers that I don't get failed.

Working 6-10 tonight. 4th day of closing in a row. If I get another crotchety old lady tonight, I might just shoot someone. With a rubber band of course.

Found a song I want to dance to after I get married. Ha...like anyone would be dumb enough to marry me.

WEDDING DRESS- Matt Nathanson
"so we lie here in the dark
all the wrong things on fire
sickness and in health
just to be with you
just to be with you
in your wedding dress
to have and to hold
even at my best
I want to let go
and you hold me in your arms
and all that I can feel
is my future in your hands
with all that I can feel
is how long ever after is
its all that I can do
to be with you
just to be with you
in your wedding dress
to have and to hold
even at my best
I want to let go
and I lost you
thought I lost you (I gave you away)
thought I'd lost you
jealous of the moon for how it moves the waves
in your wedding dress
to have and to hold
even at my best
I want to let go
and I want to be somebody else now
and I want to thicken my skin
and I want to wish it all
just wish it all
away again"

Theres a video of Matt performing this song on YouTube. Heres the linky link link linkster:

fall from the sky

some things never change [20 Nov 2006|05:15am]
I still suck at racing video games. The new Wii system included.
But I got to make a Mii on the Wii and I feel special.
And I kicked Scott's ass at Baseball and Golf.
So thats 3 games that I can beat him at now. =)

I always want what I can't have
And I said it to Scott earlier, and I wish I would have wrote it down because I liked how I worded it.
I'm so used to life being shitty and horrible.
That I don't know what its like to be happy anymore.
Like, if happy came up and slapped me in the face, I wouldn't know what hit me.

So am I happy? Is this happy? Or is this content? Or is this just not bad? Is this good? What is this?

Why am I still sitting here at 5:15am with my coat and shoes still on?

I'm scared.

Scared I'm going to fail my Com class. Scared I'm getting sick again. Scared I'm going to get into a huge fight with my parents tomorrow. Scared I'm never going to move out. Scared I'll never get these thoughts out of my head

Knowing that my wish from 1:11am will never come true
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Sandwhiches [19 Nov 2006|12:31am]
They just taste better when my mom makes them.

But I have to say, that peanut butter and banana one I just made, was quite tasty.

God why am I not sleeping?

Oh thats right...because I work when most people socialize and spend time with their SO and friends. I can't do that. So I stay up super late and talk to mine. Ugh.

James makes me laugh so hard at work sometimes I cry. I'm glad he met a girl. He's got that smile when a guy meets a girl he really digs...it lights up the room. Good for him. He's a cool dude and I think he deserves an equally cool chick.

My mom bitched at me today for being too kind and too generous. She says I spent too much money on Scott for Christmas.

And yet I already feel the need to get him something else because what I already got him, is only practical...not very sentimental. And I'm a firm believer that gifts should be sentimental in some capacity.

Another night where I just want to fall asleep and not wake up...at least not for a week. I need a break from everything...
{1 just like a shooting star}fall from the sky

I fucking love this song and it kills me [18 Nov 2006|12:16am]
Wheel-John Mayer
People have the right to fly
And will when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along
Let's move it along

And airports
See it all the time
Where someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last,
To love her

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first
To love me

You can find me, if you ever want again
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around,
I'll be around
And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it

I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
{1 just like a shooting star}fall from the sky

i'll make this brief [18 Nov 2006|12:11am]
since i've already typed this out in a few im messages.

tonight sucked.

another cafe girl quit.
someone made a whipped cream and didn't put in a co2 cartridge. therefore it exploded on me and scared the shit out of me, and now im covered in dried sticky whipped cream and it sucks. i burned myself 3 times. i only made $1.23 in tips. i had to close the cafe. work was hell. i have a splitting migraine.

tomorrow i have to be up early to pick up my grandparents and take them to my cousin's house for her birthday party, and then work all day again. and then work all day sunday.

oh joy.
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you and i are gonna live forever! [17 Nov 2006|02:24pm]
totally have that line stuck in my head

only i keep hearing my friend jordan sing it...his version...when i heard him sing it in this dive bar in monroe when scott and i went to see him like...over a year ago.

fighting with my mom again. this time she threatened no moving if my grades suck this semester. fantastic.

work is gonna suck tonight...i can just feel it.

i got a little wiggly penguin from the happy feet movie in my lucky charms this morning. that was the highlight of my day.

im bringing my hemp to work tonight so i can make scott something on my break instead of poisoning my brain with issues of cosmo from the uk.

fall from the sky

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